these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
