Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
