He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I love having hate sex.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
