I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
