remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
