Soap is not a condiment
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
