i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
