I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
