awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize