If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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