you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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