real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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