We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
