Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
