I need to stop coming to work sober
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
