She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
