I just pynch a tree in the face
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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