remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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