He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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