Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So vagazzling was a success
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
