We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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