I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize