I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
