I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
