no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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