You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
