So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just pee around me
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
