I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
