and you said cock pushups were impossible
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
