You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
