how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
