I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
