try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
