What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Is it because I queefed?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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