ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
