great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
