Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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