i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize