Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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