it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize