i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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