i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
