Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
