i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
