season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
