I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
