It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have post one night stand depression
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