just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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