Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
