Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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