What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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