Whod you bang
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
