I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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