Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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