is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
