piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize