were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
