you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
this just has baby written all over it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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