ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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