I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
