Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he fucked my hip out of place.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
