Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
