the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
