what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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