I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
