shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
