it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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