So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
