both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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