It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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