Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
