just come out here and I will go home with you...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize