Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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