his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
