Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
