I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
