I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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