Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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