You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
