"it" just moved
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
