Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize