this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
