WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
